Harness Your Desire

Ah the dream of millions but the relization of soo few. The pipe dream just as acting or singing. However, it is not as hard as you think it is to achieve! All it takes is two simple things:

1. Desire
2. Determination

Two words, yet these are the very same things people have the hardest time doing. First, you have to WANT with every fiber to write. Wake up, write! Eat, write! Bathroom, write! Sleep, write! Hell I carry a notebook with me wherever I go.

Today that is what we are going to look at…Desire!

With desire comes the voices. You need to accept the voices in your head. Once you create characters they become living, breathing parts of you. And they are loud, using every ounce of energy you possess. Mine even wake me up in the middle of the night just to write.


This desire burns greatly. It will burn holes in your socks as you pace the room angry at a conflict you can’t resolve. Burn through various pencils, notebooks and wallets that you thought would never die.

As a writer, what you must do is capture that burn, craft that desire. Shape it into a work that you hunger to write. Yes there are times when you need to research… ALWAYS look for ways to improve yourself. Research becomes a curiousity that never ends.

Because desire is soo strong, you will soon earn and itch to write. For me I feel as if something is off if I don’t want to write a damn thing. NO, you don’t need to go to a doctor. They can’t cure you anyway. What you need is to take out that pen and paper and write. Who the hell cares what about just write. Write until that desire subsides.

This is desire. And a crucial part needed in becoming and being and striving and living as a writer.

So today I encourage you to go and write about anything. Do it every day. For ten minutes, one hour, a few hours… I want you to shut off the tv and music… yes even your video games, naughty people. Turn all of it off and listen to the world around you with a pencil and paper. Don’t use your computer until you lean diligence not to quickly switch to Facebook, Youtube or even Twitter. Then with that paper and pencil, write about what you see, what you feel, what you hear.

I normally set practice writings with groups for 10 mins, 30 mins tops! Just long enough to try to create a page or so about the world around you. Read it once you’re done. Did you ever notice things like that before? Doing this every day will work your brain, training it to build the desire to write every day.

Harness the desire you have and build it to bursting. This is the first step to becoming a writer is to have the desire to write.

Tomorrow we will look at the biggest and most important part… THE BLANK PAGE!

Seraphim – 4


Her smile brightened; casting a jealous shadow over the sunlight.  A small giggle left her throat and she bounded toward where I lay.  The doctor’s hands pressed against the little girl’s shoulders keeping her from moving a foot closer.  Those suspicious eyes never left, yet when it came to the girl, they mixed with worry.

“Mommy.”  Blonde curls bounced in the air as she craned her head up toward her mother.

“I will not hurt the girl.”  Seriously, what did they think I was?  Then again, knowing what my people are capable of; what they have done even to our own kind, I did not blame the woman in the slightest.  Still, it was eerie to think, that this little girl had to have some type of Kakodaemon blood in her.

“How is our guest?”

Another shadow blocked the remaining light from the doorway.  Then the room bathed the newcomer in the candlelight.  Breath paused, and I could hear my heart skip in my chest.  Kakodaemon.  Another.  This one taller than the current man in the room but only by a few inches, and not as intimidating as the first.  Just like all the rest of his kind, this man stood made of sex and sin.  Yet, twin horns spiraled up unlike the ram horns of the other Kakodaemon.  Still, just like the little girl being held back by the doctor.

Blonde hair.  Spiraled horns.  Wings.  My eyes slid from the doctor to the new Kakodaemon, then to the little girl.  It made sense.  She was their daughter.

“I didn’t know that one of us could ever create children with a Kakodaemon.”  Even as it came out, I could hear the slight disgust hinted in my voice.  Maybe more than I had intended.  It just wasn’t done.  Every training I previously had, even the very life I was taught since birth, all pointed toward this little girl as being an abomination.

But she’s a little girl.  A child.  Just like the ones you saved.

The ones my men died for.  Bitter betrayal flooded my mouth in a corrosive bile that did not stop.  Turning my head I threw up the remaining contents of a tasteless meal I couldn’t even remember having.

A cold hand pressed against my forehead, another rubbed my back until I spilled the rest onto the ground.  No one kicked me, nor scolded me for messing up the floor.  The doctor stroked my back, concern etched on her soft facial features.  Between episodes I tried desperate to apologize for such an indecency but all that came out were gurgles and incoherent babble.

“Shhh…”  She soothed, pulling loose strands of my hair back from my face.  “You can’t help how you are feeling.”

How could this be?  In all my life, I never knew an Agathodaemon woman to be so kind.  So loving.  Not even to her own child.  They were accessories to power.  Good solely for climbing the social ladder.  I’m sure even the children I sired where nothing to the mothers who paid for them.  Yet, this woman, was different.

“Thank you, sweet lady.”  Though no words came out, just a series of sputtering and coughing.

“Don’t fight it.”  Ylanna pressed a cool hand along my damp forehead.  “Your body will take a few days to recover.”

“How bad?”  That came out clear despite the growl.

I couldn’t see her frown but I felt it.  Her body stiffened slight.  If not for my intense training within the ranks of the military, I probably would not have noticed, but her actions deafened my senses.  She didn’t have to tell me in great detail what she tried so hard to put off.  I could feel it.  Though muscles from my wing still moved, the cool air rubbed only against bone and bandages.

“We couldn’t save your third wing.”  My right shoulder twitched feeling the fragmented muscles.

For an Agathodaemon, losing one of the Flight Wings – wings that grew from the shoulder – felt like being clipped and flightless.  True my Glide Wing below it would serve the same purpose, it had no choice now; I couldn’t stop the useless feeling washing over me.  Without all four of my wings, I was undone.  Growling, I bit my lip to keep from a full snarl.  Broken.  Without.

Another small hand fell on my shoulder, pulling me from my reverie.  Innocent blue eyes coaxed a smile from my cracked lips.  Somehow, the bizarre arrangement of horns and blonde fluff gave the little girl a charm all her own.  I couldn’t hate her, nor feel despised by her own creation.  No she was indeed a beautiful child.

“Sariah, give the man room.”  Ylanna tried to situated her body between the girl and my reach.

“Sariah is it?”  The girl nodded, strong emotions of joy radiated from such a broad smile.  Heartstrings tugged and for the first time in years, I wondered what my children looked like.  Not that I could ever find out.  I shook that idea off.  Never again would I be able to set foot into Elysian without a few wing tips through my back.

“Such a beautiful name.”  My own smile widened.  “For such a beautiful young lady.”  Odd how two assuming enemies could come together.  My heart ached remembering the children who caused my own downfall.  It wasn’t their fault for living.  If anything I still did not regret saving them.  Not even if they were Kakodaemon.  No.  If still placed along my path again, I would repeat my act.

Ylanna grabbed her daughter’s hand, pulling from me once more.  She then looked up at the man who had to obviously be her mate.  Then back to the other man who only now just pushed himself off from the wall.  “For now, he is clear but he needs much rest.  Kel, I leave him in your hands.  Don’t hurt my patient.”

With that, the three of them were gone leaving me in the hands of this man with such large, ram horns.  A man who, for some reason, I felt like I knew from a lifetime that seemed long forgotten.

Power Outages and Coffee

I apologize for not being able to add a new post for two days. There was a nasty storm here in Maryland. Two million people out of power and I, being one of them, couldn’t access my internet. With things back to business, I should be able to start getting back to normal and adding more posts.

In better news, my boyfriend and I went to Starbucks yesterday and made an Aeye. He was my guinea pig and happily enjoyed the first Aeye ever made! This particular one was strong in the Hazelnut so we decided to go buy a dark fench vanilla roast and a bottle of vanilla pumps from Starbucks to attempt to experiment in perfecting the Aeye.

Still he loved the Aeye so I will continue to make more. If anyone else who wants to try please tell me your stories and experiences. Even what you think of the drink itself and I will continue adding more food and drink from my novel for all of you who are curious even to try them out.

Thank you!

Mama’s Coffee: Making an AEYE

Alessa Young a.k.a. Mama: I’m the founder and owner of Mama’s Coffee and Cakes Cafe in Baltimore. My son Timothy works hard on making our food whereas I make our coffee for our esteemed guests. Today we are going to make one of our famous drinks: an AEYE

Aeye – as Timothy told you with his Sushi Rolls – is our infamous Death Walker leader and a pretty taciturn man. For his drink, he likes it very strong.

Many other guests, when having a hard time, love this drink as well.


1. 3 cups French Vanilla Roast
2. Espresso pod(s) or dark roast coffee
3. Vanilla Syrup
4. Coffee Filter
5. Coffee Cup
6. Coffee Collar/Sleeve

OPTIONAL – You can, if you want, steam milk and put whipped cream on top. This is a very strong drink.

Making the Roast –

Step 1. Grind the fresh beans. 3 cups will make a party size so if you just want 1 cup of coffee I would just grind 1 cup so that you can go back for more but not be forced to invite the neighborhood for coffee. (If you don’t have a grinder than you can get some ground or go to a local coffeeshop to grind them. Hell even I would grind beans for people if they asked.)

Step 2. Place the coffee grinds in the coffee filter then into the coffee maker. Since my kitchen is a business I have an industrial maker so it makes many batches but I personal one will do just as well.

(Optional – You can even make this as a French Press. Just put 1-3 tsp of the grinds instead of cups. If you’re interested in knowing how to do this in French Press just leave a comment here and I will post it up.)

Making the Espresso

Step 1. After you have brewed the roast, take your paper cup and put 3-4 squirts of vanilla. There are plenty of places where you can buy these bottles of vanilla to use.

Step 2. Place the espresso pods into one of the machines then the cup underneath and press the number of shots you want. An AEYE takes 4 shots of espresso to make.

NOTE: If you don’t have an espresso machine then take a dark roast or espresso roast and grind the bean as finely as possible. Then double your paper filter to make the water move through it as slow as possible; pat the grinds down a bit to make it tight.


Once the coffee is done brewing, add it to the cup with espresso shots and vanilla. Stir.

OPTIONAL – You can also steam milk until frothy or even add whipped cream or coffee creamer to soften the mixture if you don’t want it too hard.

Depending on the day, Aeye will order doubles or even triples AEYE. One time he even ordered a quad AEYE. What they are is doing the same thing but doubling, tripling or even quadtrupling the ingredients but be prepared. This coffee is not for the faint of heart or even those who want to sleep at night!

Well good day and have fun making coffee!

((Picture will be uploaded later))

Seraphim – 3

Streams of daylight passed over my eyelids, bringing with it the rush of on-going pain.  My muscles shifted but I couldn’t move my body to put pressed on the side that ached.  I opened my eyes praying that it wouldn’t be Elias that I woke up to.  The first time I ever prayed not to see another Agathodaemon, other than myself, for as long as I lived.

“So you’re up.”

I looked over to my left and saw…

“Who the hell are you?”  Long ridged horns curved around the Kakodaemon’s ears; weapons waiting for the opportunity.  However, he just unfolded his arms and came to the edge of my bed.

“Ylanna will want to know that you are awake.”  He placed a hand on my forehead.

I jumped, gritting my teeth feeling the rush of agony race up my spine, and decided to settle back into my pillow.  His hand did not touch me again.  Our eyes met, and I stared, trying to find any reasoning behind those deep scarlet eyes for saving me from the death by my brethren.  Nothing.  Those eyes reflected only my haggard condition.  Which did not help.  If that creature attacked, I would be powerless against the assault.

Then the door opened.  A blonde hair, blue-eyed, typical Agathodaemon looking woman, walked in.  Two white wings curled against her shoulder.  She carried a clipboard, yet unlike most doctors, she was dressed in military khaki and a gun holstered to her hips.

“Good to see you have regained consciousness.”  She smiled, then flicked over the papers in the folder.  “We couldn’t save the wing.  However, after some recovery, providing you mind the stitches, you’ll recover in a few weeks.  How are you feeling?”

I raised an eyebrow.  No way I could answer at that precise moment.  There was a Kakodaemon near me and who knows if he was waiting for her to declare me free to snack on.  Especially after what had happened.  No.  Even this doctor couldn’t be trusted.  I bit my tongue and looked away.

“Suit yourself.”  There was a thud as she placed the folder onto the table.  “You’ll talk when you feel less threaten.”


The door swung open at the same time I turned to see who ran in.  My face softened but only just.  A child bounded in the room, her smile lit up the room.  Bright golden curls bounced along her shoulders as rich as her two fluffy, downy wings.  A smile pulled at the edges of my lips.  Then I froze, the smile fell.  I blinked twice, trying to clear my vision.  Was I seeing this right?

Two tiny horns peeked through the tight curls, spiraled toward the air.  And a tail waved wildly back and forth.

“Daemon…”  Both were true.  But how was it possible?  This child.  She was Agathodaemon.  Yet, she was Kakodaemon.  All three of them looked at me.  The little girl gasped, her smile breaking the mold of her face.  Still, I couldn’t feel the happiness I had seconds before.  She wasn’t right.  None of this was.


Timothy’s Recipe 1: Rice Sushi Treats

Timothy Young: Good morning and welcome to the first installment of Death Walker recipes.  I actually work at Mama’s Coffees and Cakes where we create food and drinks for not only humans but the Death Walkers who live here.  Today I am going to teach you how to make “Rise Sushi Treats.”  This is the leader of the Death Walkers Aeye’s favourite treat.  FYI… don’t leave any out on your counter after making or he will find your house and eat them…

Rice Sushi Treats  by “Timothy” aka MegamiJadeheart

One box of Rice Krispys, or other firm cereal.  (Cheerios work, but Chex do not)
Two packages of regular Marshmallows
3 Tbs butter (do not use lowfat margarine)
One box Fruit Rollups.  Real fruit version preferred.
One package twizzlers OR one bag swedish fish.
Optional: chocolate sauce

Very large microwave safe bowl
big spoon
2 cup measure
Two jellyroll pans or cookie sheets
one pancake spatula
cooking spray
silicone cookie mat (optional, but makes rolling the sushi easier. You can also use a sushi rolling mat covered in saran wrap)

sharp knife

Making the “Rice”

Step 1) Put 3 Tbs butter and two bags of marshmallows in the large microwave safe bowl.  Do not cover.  Heat on regular, 1:30 minutes, or 3 minutes half power.  As they heat the Marshmallows will balloon out and over the top of the bowl.  This is normal and fun to watch, they should not explode.  If you have a very small microwave, make the Krispie treats in two batches, one bag of marshmallows each, or use stovetop directions on the box.

Step 2) While it is heating, spray two pans and spatula with cooking spray.  I use butter flavored Pam.

Step 3) Stir your marshmallow balloon with the big spoon to work the butter into the fluff a little, then add 6 to 8 cups of cereal, two cups at a time, and stir in until the mixture looks even.  Not too much marshmallow, but not too little either.

Step 4)
Glob your Krispys treat mix onto your two jellyroll pans or cookie sheets, and use the spatula (you did spray it with cooking spray, right?) to smoosh the treat out to about a half inch to one inch thickness.  I like using Jellyroll pans because the top of the pan is a good height.

Making the sushi.

Step 1) Lay the silicone cookie mat down on a clear spot of counter.

Step 2)
Open a roll of Fruit roll up, unroll and de-film, and lay smooth side down on the mat.

Step 3) Spray your sharp knife with cooking spray and cut a rectangle out of the Rice that is the same width as the fruit roll up, but an inch or so shorter than the length, and lay it on top of the roll up so it is flush with three sides and there is a tale of rollup on the opposite side from you.

Step 4)  Cut one twizzler in half, or lay out two or three swedish fish.  Place the filling about an inch in from the close side of the rollup, pressing it slighting into the Rice.

Step 5) Lift up the close edge of the rollup, using your fingers, or simply rolling the cookie mat itself, roll the edge of the rollup and Rice over the filling, and keep rolling, folding the mat back as you do to keep it from getting caught in the Rice.  (If this confuses you, you can find a sushi bar and watch them roll the maki)

Step 6) With the rolled sushi still in the mat, give it a few soft even squeezes, and then unroll.  if the tale of the fruit rollup is not sticking to rest of the roll on its own, wet your finger with water and run it along the underside to make it sticky, and press down.  

Step 7) With the sharp knife, cut the roll in half shortways.  Then cut those halves in half.  This gives you four little maki wheels.


To serve:

Place 3 to 8 Sushi rollups on a small plate.  Serve with chocolate dipping sauce, or drizzle melted chocolate over the rolls and allow to set.

These can be made with any soft candy as a filling, and possibly jams, fresh fruit, or shaved chocolate as a filling.  Hard candy is not recommended.

Seraphim – 2

Fires crackled around drawing the darkness back to light.  A pounding rang in my head and, groaning, I managed to open my eyes.  Just slits.

“So you are awake.”

“Elias?”  The corners of my lips pulled into a smile.  But how was he here?  Did I leave him by the trenches?  Still, none of that matter now.  We needed to get back.

Dragging my arms behind me, I pushed up against the rocky ground.  Then stopped.  Alarm touched the corners of my fogged mind.  Something was holding me down.  I pulled against it and bit down a scream feeling my broken wing tear by the remnants of its ligaments.  Turning my head to the left, I stared, trying to focus on what kept it from coming off the ground.

A boot?  I followed the trail upward.  A leg.  A hip.  Elias.

“What are you doing, Elias?  Get off me.”  I cleared my throat and tried once more to sit up.

A knee came down on my chest as another Agathodaemon came into the picture.  My blood in my veins froze.  What was happening?  Why was that man here?  Five wings surrounded me, caging me within a feathery dungeon of daggers.  Fuzzy as my mind was, I knew that something was off.

“You shouldn’t have saved them, Captain.”  Elias shook his head, pressing his foot down against my feeble wing.  “I cannot save you.”

Realization came too late.  Pupils dilated and I thrashed.  Fingers grabbed at anything, everything, fighting to get away from those I once considered friends.  But they held firm.  Steel glinted from the dying firelight then plunged toward me.  My heart dropped in my chest.  There was nothing I could do.  Nothing to stop that dagger.  It buried deep into my wing.  Fresh pain painted across my eyes in a blaze of black dots.  I couldn’t scream for there was no voice to use.  Paralysis overtook my body.  The pain threshold had been broken, yet still I could feel their tugging and ripping.

“No…”  The bone popped from its socket and more blood gurgled up from somewhere deep inside.

Then they were gone to leave me here to fend or die.  Though the vultures and Kakodaemon would get me first.  Bloody scavengers.  Still, now I felt a pain far worse than the injury that allowed my lifeblood to pour from me.  And all I could do, all I did, was weep, praying for this darkness descending to take me away once and evermore.

Seraphim – 1


Blood fell from the sky.  The screams echoed, ricocheting off the walls of my mind, until all I could do was clamp down hands to the sides of my ears.  Another Agathodaemon fell, his once splendid plumage lit in a blaze against the lightning filled sky.  Another secession of arrows rained upon the regiment.

“We aren’t going to make it Captain.”  A hand pulled at my jacket.  “You must escape.”

Droplets of water slicked down my cheeks, falling as I shook my head.  My hand clasped his, slinging his arm over my good shoulder.  Together – pressing against the other – we rose to our feet, staggering back to the battlement.  If we could only get to the trenches, we might survive the ordeal.  Men fell on either side, my heart hammered louder than the thunder.  If only I could…

“Captain!”  Elias fell against me, giving me seconds to adjust my footing, saving us from meeting the red river below.  Jerking my head away from the fallen soldier I previously reached for, I placed one foot forward.  Then another.

You can’t save them all, I chanted every time I saw another of my men fall.  And still the arrows came.  This battle had been a bad idea.  Retreat.  The command blared, an order that had to be given.  My eyes slid over to the trenches.  Only a few more paces.  Freedom.  Another howl whipped my head to scan the sky above.  Gold glinted as it plummeted to the ground carrying the soldier with it.  One wing ripped from the man’s shoulder yet I knew.  There was no way he would have survived.

“Jonathan!”  Elias wheezed next to me, blood coated between both our armor.  I clenched my teeth.

The retreated needed to be sounded.  Our flag bearer fallen.  We had lost this confrontation.  Still, there was no backing down.

“Stay here.”  I set Elias down despite protest.  Not another word, nor another glance toward my comrade.  Just one look and I would crumble.

The horn gone, lost amidst the carnage, still, we needed to retreat.  My heart beat wild, thoughts stampeded incoherent, desperate.  Then I spotted it.  Our salvation.  Pain shot through me, yet I took the calculated steps.  Feet from me lay a body ragged and torn, barely recognizable.  But I could see it, glinting from the dying flames of the burnt village around.  The Kakodaemon horn.  My path was set.

“Are you crazy?”  Elias screamed somewhere behind me.  “Captain Malachai!”

But I ignored him.

Fire shot through my nerves, and the ground rushed up to meet me.  Falling on my hip, I groaned feeling the sharp rubble crunch and push into my raw flesh.  A cry fell from my lips.  Despair or defeat.  At the moment I couldn’t define any emotion.  Anger.  Happiness.  Fear.  Sorrow.  Every one of those and more existed in my being during that time.  Yet still I managed to stand; to stagger to the corpse of the fallen enemy.

“Until we are avenged.”  Grasping hold of the base of the horn, I twisted.  It tore.  My stomach pitched all over the cooling fragments.  Bringing up my arm, I wiped the sour contents from my lips then lifted up the bloody horn in the sky.

I blew into it.  Blood spurted from it, drowning out any sound I could get from it.  Inhaling, I coughed feeling blood dip down my throat.  Another wave of nausea passed over me.  Shaking my head, I glanced around at my enemies.  My allies.  Both still locked in a battle that no one could win.  Retreat.  That was my sole saving option.

“By damn they will live.”

Bloody horn in hand, I summoned the rest of my lessening strength and beat down upon the ground with four great wings.  They spread, blocking the light despite missing feathers.  Each tip touched the blood-stained soil for seconds before lifting back up.  Every limb protested, and still I ignored the agony.  No.  I would not fail this time.

Flying skyward – greeting the storm – salvation in hand, I charged toward the heart of the battlefield.  Droplets of blood mixed – friend and foe – raining to the scarred field with its village of ashes.  Soon they too became specks as I climbed heavenward.  Flicking what blood was left out of the horn, I put it once again to my lips.  Inhaled sharp and blew…

One high pitched whistle rang clear through the night.  The sound of retreat.  Another object flew through the air, tearing into flesh.  The horn fell from my fingers toward the earth below.  Another scream.  This one did not ricochet; it filled throughout every catacomb in my mind, stealing the hearing within.  Wind rushed up, cold.  Nursing and caressing.  One wing dropped faster than the rest yet I could do nothing, not even flail.  The numb had already set in, taking freewill.  All I did; all I could do, was watch and wait on bated breath for the end…

Enter the Neutral Plains

Good evening!

Right now I’m writing in a Books-A-Million.  They seem to be affiliates of Barnes and Noble though they appear more Borders-like.  Anyway…

My name is Kathryn Faye or at least that’s my pseudonym used on my novel series “Death Walkers.”  I know you are probably wondering where the hell it is in the stores… well it’s not in them yet!  One day… that is my hope.  What this blog serves for me is a chance to talk about my Death Walkers… interview them and the books and also to enjoy reading and commenting on other books that I get my hands on.

ALL books!  Not just mine!

With that said… why “Neutral Plains.”  Well the Neutral Plains is a holding cell or a Purgatory shall we say for spirits that have not been born yet or are seeking to claim rebirth.  The judgment place in my little world.  It is also where the Revenants originated.

Revenants are ghosts that, for whatever reason, decided they did not want to accept their fate of death and believe that if they consume enough soul energy they will regenerate their decomposing bodies and live again.  Guess what… it WORKS!

Now the gods find this irritating to their plan, especially since it was one of them who created these abominations.  Therefore, to counter-act and protect their precious humans, they create the Death Walkers.  Together they are neutral spirits who had never experienced life and the bias of being human, and were recruited to become beings who were charged to safely escort innocent spirits back to the Neutral Plains AND to hunt down and eliminate the Revenant abomination.

The god who created the Revenants, seeing this, rebelled and breached the barrier to let the Revenants on Earth.  Now Death Walkers must be born into human bodies to destroy them before they destroy the humans, thereby forcing an apocalypse of sorts.  Three major problems with that:

1. To be born on Earth, each soul was split into TWO Death Walker beings on Earth

2. Each Death Walker only has 5,000 years of life on Earth

3. They must find their Soul – other half – to bring more Death Walkers in

Not all find their Souls.  When they do not all can keep them.  Some are even forced to slay their Souls.  One thing is certain… if the Death Walkers lose this battle, it won’t be just the humans who face annihilation…